These are the current things I am over analyzing:
1. What is worse - meeting someone you spark with but being totally incompatible? meeting someone you are totally compatible with but not sparking? or giving up the hope that you will never get both in one package?
2. How did I get to be such a loner? When did I stop letting people get close to me? Have I been living by myself for too long? Am I going to turn into my weird, anti-social, elitist co-worker with whom I was desperately in love with and then devastatingly crushed by?
3. Is it a good thing not to cry as much as I used to? On one hand, yes, because it was kind of interfering with work. On the other hand, no, because I feel a pent up emotion that I can't release. Is it my drugs?
4. Did I over extend myself this year? I currently have 3 paying gigs (teaching, assistant athletic directing, tutoring); 2 major volunteer commitments (Montreat and People to People); 2 bridesmaid obligations (Marcia and Jenni); a family (who I never get to see); friends (who I have to fit in); a dog (with a 14 year old arthritis-stricken pair of legs); a cat (with the need to destroy my house); a latin lover (who I don't know if I actually love yet); an ex-boyfriend (who wants me to hold his hand while he gets over me); the dream of going back to graduate school (if I can ever pick a degree); a mortgage (with a growing stack of bills); and oh yeah, the job of taking care of me.
5. Am I old? Was that a grey hair or just a really, really, really blond highlight? When did those wrinkles under my eyes get there? Is it the result of sun damage or age? If I feel like I look so much older, why do people still think I'm 16?
No wonder I can't sleep.