Thursday, April 30, 2009

remember your audience

During a lesson on idioms:

Student: Ms. L, is 'better small than not at all' an idiom?

Ms. L: I've never heard that, but it sounds like one. Sound to me like it means you should be thankful for something even if it's smaller than you hoped. Better to have something small than to not have anything.

(Table full of boys start giggling. The reality of what I just said hits me.)

Ms L.: Ok. Who's heard the idiom, 'I just put my foot in my mouth'?

: ) WG

Monday, April 27, 2009

still missing

My Piggy is gone.

I searched high and low. I ransacked my house. I had someone else ransack my house. I looked in every crack and crevice.

I showed him to my sister last Friday night. Where did he go? Did he grow legs and walk away? Did he run away because of the new pig?

I find it ironic and honestly quite scary that I just blogged about him and he turns up missing.

I am so, so, so sad. How could I manage to keep him for 27 and a half years, and then lose him in one weekend? It just doesn't seem possible.

This past weekend was the first time in my entire life that I spent the night at my parent's house without Piggy, or at least without the knowledge of where he was. This just seems like a really mean joke. Piggy is a huge part of my childhood, and I have no idea what happened to him.

Piggy, please come home.
: ( wg

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

this is how i did it

This weekend, I was finally able to pay off the final amount on my 2nd to last credit card! I opened this card in 05 because it had a great transfer option deal. I never used the actual card itself to purchase anything. I only ever transferred balances. In the beginning, the balance was around $7,000. As of two years ago, it was closer to $5,500.
But today - it's $0.00!!!!!

I feel so financially awesum.

Now, I do still have some credit card debt. I started this blog with about $8,000 in credit card debt. I've managed, in two years, to cut that by over half. In order to keep myself motivated and help other awesum debtors, I'm going to explain HOW I DID IT.

1. Get the card out of the wallet. Fingertip access brings spending temptation to a whole new level. Get the card out of the wallet NOW.
2. Pay off the highest interest rate first. (Since I'm finally down to one card, this will be a sinch!)
3. Throw money it at like it's your job. Any and all extra money goes to your debt.
4. Set manageable goals. Saying, "I'm getting out of this in one year" is unrealistic. However, saying, "I'm going to pay off 10% of the total amount in one month" is doable.
5. Finally, finally, finally get a car with working air conditioner and under 100,000 miles when you are out of debt. At least, that's what I'm going to do.

Yay, yay, yay financially responsible me!

Monday, April 20, 2009


this blog is going private


My beloved Piggy that I blogged about a few days ago is missing. Seriously, missing.

I don't know how I can know where he is before I leave the house and come back to find him gone.

If someone is playing a joke on me, this is NOT FUNNY.

I am devastated, and that's no exaggeration. If you lost the most precious piece of your childhood you would be devastated, too.

I do not feel foolish for saying this: Dear God, Please, please, please let me find him.

- a distraught working girl

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Happy Anniversary WG

Remember how it all began? Yep, for those of you who didn't know, I started this blog with grandiose plans of blogging my way out of debt in one year. That was in April of '07. I'm no mathmetician, but something tells me I didn't meet that goal.

However, prepare yourself for an AWESUM TEASER ALERT : Credit Card Update Coming Soon!

With or without credit cards, I am happy to be The Working Girl.

8 days a week

I was tagged by my new blogger friend Tamela
to do 8 things! Yay! We all know how
much I love to talk about myself, so let the fun begin...

Here's how to do this 8 THINGS thing:
  • Mention the person that tagged you.
  • Complete the lists of 8's.
  • Tag 8 of your wonderful bloggy friends.
  • Go tell them you tagged them!


1. Paying off my credit card debt! I am SO CLOSE!
2. Going DOWN UNDER on my Australian Adventure this summer.
3. Shadowing Tom and Julie during "O2E" Montreat Middle School 2009 in July.
4. Being a bridesmaid in Marcia and Adam's wedding ... only one week away!
5. Starting an MFA program in 2011!!!!
6. My next Wumpkin Weekend - let's start planning!
7. The next Harry Potter movie - will it ever come to theaters?
8. Hot, hot, hot summer days. Come visit. We'll hit the beach.


  1. Contemplated whether or not the new jeans I bought were just comfortable or mom jeans.
  2. Dealt with the unenthusiastic children in 1st period.
  3. Relished in the fabulous behavior of 2nd period.
  4. Went to Larry's Giant Subs during 3rd period.
  5. Said things like, "Are you seriously complaining about this? Children in Africa don't have food to eat and you're upset over having to do book work?" to 4th period.
  6. Dodged questions like, "Do you have a boyfriend, Ms. L?" in 5th period.
  7. Counted down the minutes until 4:15 in 6th period.
  8. Waited for what seemed like ever for Janine to get here, met up with Kat and Siobhan, had drinks, ran into George, and then hit the Brix.

  1. Rid my house of clutter.
  2. Become independently wealthy.
  3. Vacation in the Philippines.
  4. Volunteer in the Greek Isles.
  5. Motivate myself to write.
  6. Find the cure for cancer.
  7. Walk with Ashley at the CF walk next Saturday.
  8. Be eligible for one of the many student loan forgiveness programs for teachers. I am inordinately screwed in each category.
  1. Gilmore Girls (like this comes as a shock)
  2. Law and Order: Criminal Intent (though I wish Eaves would stop relying on Goren)
  3. Real Housewives on Bravo (hangs head in shame)
  4. Cold Case on A&E (take that bad guys)
  5. Biggest Loser (it's never too late to try!!!!)
  6. Top Chef (Chef Tom is also my gay bear fantasy)
  7. Scrubs (I can't decide if I'm more JD or Elliot)
  8. Millionare Matchmaker (could my tv shows be any trashier?)
  1. Heather - you know you want to!
  2. Emily - as long as there are no more stories about poo!! : )
  3. Kim - it's way past time for an update
  4. Natalie - neighbor! oh neighbor!!
  5. Morgan - perhaps you could do 8 things for Stockton?
  6. Jami - perhaps you could do 8 super-studious-artistic things?
  7. Marlette - girl your blog is long past overdue
  8. Lindsay - the girl who does this great blog called Picture Praying
Have fun!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

a tale of two piggies

As you may (or may not) know, a certain man keeps me company every night. He's been my companion for twenty-seven long, wonderful years. I can not sleep without him. He is, of course, my Piggy. Here are some earlier shots of me with Piggy:

Now, of course, being my bed-time (and for the greater part of my childhood, my all-the-time) companion has caused Mr. P some serious wear and tear. His bright pink, furry exterior morphed into a more senior gray tone. His adorable sailor suit is worn through in so many places that my Nanny knit him a pink sweater (also now gray) sometime in the 90s. His right arm is hanging on, quite literally, by a thread and the silky tail I used to rub at night has been missing since 1989.

Some might say it's time to give Piggy a rest. Ha! Nice try, my family has been saying that to me since I was about six! However, I can't help but see the truth in their argument. If I continue to sleep with Piggy, he might not last much longer. And I, quite literally, plan to take him to the grave.

Trust me, I've looked for a substitute. I'm not ashamed to admit I've spent hours on ebay looking for another edition to my Piggy clan. It seems, however, that my Piggy was a generic, one-time only stuffed animal. When my Uncle Timmy picked him out from the bin in a drug store to give to me when I was still in the hospital, circa Nov. 20 1981, who knew he would become my favorite and most beloved childhood toy?

That's why I was shocked last weekend to come across this little fellow in Downtown Disney.

The resemblance was striking. Same two-tone horizontal outfit. Same round, chubby body. Same beady, black-eyed stare. Same soft ears and same wiggly feet. Could it be I found the '09 edition of Piggy?

I quickly purchased New Pig and took him back to the hotel room, where Piggy was dutifully waiting. (I always put Piggy on the nightstand at a hotel because I'm afraid he'll get washed with the sheets and never be seen again.) One look at Piggy and I felt like a complete traitor. How could I tell him he was about to be replaced by a newer model?

I know it is for the best to stop sleeping with Piggy. It's just doing him harm. But I just can't imagine life without him. He travels with me every where I go, and never in the checked luggage. He always hangs out in my carry-on for three specific reasons. First, he's the perfect size for an airline pillow. Second, if my luggage is lost, I still can sleep at night with Piggy by my side. Third, should the plane need to do an emergency crash landing in the ocean, I can strap Piggy underneath my life vest and make a run for it.

So, how can I face Piggy now, with this new pig in my arms? Will he understand this is for his own good? Or will he feel neglected, abandoned, and betrayed after 27 years of loyal companionship?

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Monday, April 13, 2009

the very best medicine

is one weekend alone with your very best friend. Totally and completely a sum of awe.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

oh internet, you make me laugh

I think Zoey is bulimic.

Zoey is my cat.

No, I'm not kidding.

Here is a typical scene from my house:

I come home from work. Zoey weaves in an out of my feet and licks my toes. She meows incessantly until I fill up her food bowl. I fill up her bowl and she wolfs it down. Then she walks into the living room and barfs all over the floor. Then the dog eats the cat barf. Really, it's great.

Of course, this causes me to turn - where else - but to my friend, The Internet. Lo and behold, a google search for "feline bulimia" yielded 163 results INCLUDING a YouTube video that gives directions about tapping the cat's head trying to stimulate the temporal lobe to create and energy shift. I almost died when the narrator said that results doubled when they used crystals.

However, upon further investigation, I discover this video is being used to promote the website "Tapping for Cash", which offers to sell you a system to tap into the "financial earnings of the mentally ill, the poor, the gullible and the desperate" and provide an opportunity to "meet up with other gullible fools and swap crystals, healing flowers and overpriced remedial placebos at practice groups countrywide." By scrolling all the way to the bottom, I discover this website is pure fiction.

And just when I thought I found Zoey a cure!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

spade = gardening tool? guess again

(this blog was inspired by someone I used to know, not any of my awesum readers!)

If you are going to always put a disclaimer on the things you say, please just stop talking. So, in the future, should you find yourself beginning a sentence with something like:

I don't have to justify my behavior, but...

Don't take offense to this, but...

I'm not a judgmental person, but...

First, accept the fact that you are full of shit. Then, accept the following:

No, you don't have to justify your behavior, but you probably feel a little guilty about what you did. Otherwise, you wouldn't be trying to explain it away. Admit it.

If you think what you're about to say is offensive, it is offensive. Suggesting someone not get their feelings hurt doesn't make it any less offensive. Just own up to it and be rude.

If you're making a judgment, you are judgmental. Save us the trouble and keep your opinions to yourself.

Do you guys know people like this? I'm guilty of using these phrases in the past, and I vow to make an honest effort to stop. Call a spade a spade - and stop being such a self-righteous bitch!

what is love OR baby, don't hurt me

This isn't going to be one of those "woe, is me" posts. This isn't going to be one of those "I hate being single" posts or even one of those "being single is awe-sum" posts.

This is just going to be ... well, this is just going to be one of those posts.

Lately, I find myself wondering about this thing we call love. That's right, I said it. L-O-V-E. Lots of weddings equals lots of conversations with girlfriends about how they knew he (or she) was "the one". And, ick of all icks, they keep saying, "When you know, you know."

No offense, Married and Engaged Friends, but I just don't believe you.

Well, I do and I don't.

You see, I knew once. I really did. I met this boy and thought, "This is the one for me." I thought there would never be anyone else in the world for me. I felt like God had designed this person just for me, and I was so incredibly lucky to have him in my life. He made me want to be a better person. He made me feel like sunshine and rainbows and lucky charms. It was not about lowercase love. It was the capital L-O-V-E thing.

But then The One turned on me and turned out to be someone I didn't even recognize. Yes, we were young. Yes, people change. Yes, I know all that. However, being hurt by The One doesn't mean your brain just switches into that "Oh, he must not be The One" mode overnight. You realize it with time (read: therapy).

Maybe I'm cynical, but I just don't believe in it anymore. First I meet The One who Really Wasn't The One, then I meet The One with Sparks with whom I am completely incompatible and then I meet The Compatible One but there were no sparks. Seriously - is there ever a winning combination? Does a "One" singular exist?

I just don't think I will ever have those feelings again. I'm no longer a young, impressionable girl with low self-esteem who wants a boy to sweep in and make me feel like a princess. I am a Working Girl in every sense of the word. I work for a living. I work for the world. I work at being okay. I work because I love it. I work because I have no other choice. Maybe now that I'm a different person, a better person, a happier person - I will know in a different way?

Love? Ick. All I know is that I don't know.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

oh, the angst

If you really want a good laugh, go back and read your journals and-or diaries from when you were in high school, or college, or after college, or maybe even last year. Here is a gem of mine from almost ten years ago:


Well, tomorrow I graduate high school. Shouldn't I maybe be more excited? Perhaps there will be a time in my life where everything I learned in high school:
- never sacrifice your morals
- find a few close friends and stick to them
- don't convince yourself you are okay with things that in actuality make you squirm
- smile more, have fun
will be of any use?

Oh, the irony. Little did I know those lessons must still be learned at age 27. Either that, or I'm a shitty learner. I dare you to dig through your journals and then blog about it! Can't wait to see the pearls hiding in your collections of adolescence.


i love a good kids movie

I went to the movies with MLL last night as friends. It was nice to see him. He makes me laugh. I'll blog about that on a later date. The real purpose of this post is to get everyone to go see the best new movie ever: MONSTERS V. ALIENS!

The message really hit me in this movie. Finally, a film about a girl who ends up losing everything she thinks she wanted (the perfect wedding, honeymoon, husband, life, etc.) and ... well, I won't ruin it for you, just go see it!


* I guess it's MXLL now :(