Wednesday, December 31, 2008

lessons learned

You never make a lesson plan without a goal in mind.

What will the student achieve, understand, or remember by the end of this lesson?

I hate lessons.

Annoyingly, it's always what people tell you when a relationship ends. Just think of this as a learning experience, your friends say, as if that's supposed to make it all better. Granted, in a few months you will view it that way, and you'll begin to think about what you want in a new relationship. You begin to consider new relationships. You have new relationships.

Realistically, no one enters a romantic relationship thinking, "I just want to learn about myself and then move on." I don't know if it's society or genes or hormones or television but within minutes of meeting a man, most women will try to picture herself standing next to him in a white dress, making pancakes with him in the kitchen, doing crosswords on Sunday mornings and taking kids to the park. I'm guessing that within seconds of meeting a woman, most men just try to picture us with our clothes off. Tomato, tomahtoe? Who knows.

I suppose this "learning experience" approach works for someone who does not consider themselves a permanent student. But as a lifetime learner, I can't help but wonder why I couldn't meet the goal. I can accept it when a lesson plan fails in my 7th grade classroom, but not when one fails in my life. I always want to get the A+.

That elusive, elusive A+.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

on the naughty list

We're playing Secret Santa at work. All day yesterday, I kept peeking at my mailbox, anxiously awaiting my first gift of the week. Finally, after lunch, I noticed a bright red package sitting inside.

The tag read:

I'm Your Santa! Well, actually, I'm your Secret Santa, but there weren't any books with that title. Tawdry Romances may not be your genre of choice but give this book at try. I share your love of reading, so who am I?

I opened the package to find a bright, green paperback titled I'm Your Santa. After reading the back of the book, I guessed this was a typical chick lit type romance. I innocently flipped open to a random page and began to read.

Um, words like thrust, throb, grab, moan, desire, heat, and passion, mixed in with lexicon for various body parts, was not what I expected to see! In shock, I threw the book on my desk and took three steps back. I looked around to make sure I was alone - I couldn't be seen reading this type of thing at work!!! I tiptoed back to my desk and flipped to another page. Eek! It was more of the same, only this time with nipples. I shoved the book to the bottom of my purse and tried to collect myself before 5th period.

Now I'm wondering if my Secret Santa intended for me to receive this dirty gift, or if they innocently thought, like me, that this was just a chick lit book for a beach day? I can't wait to see who my Santa turns out to be. I hope that Santa really isn't a pervert, but with teachers, you never know!

ps - Remember this blog in case I die. If they clean out my house, I don't want people to think I bought that book to read. Even if the some of the pages are bookmarked ;)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

i googled you

When did "google" become a verb? Now, don't get me wrong. I love google. Who doesn't? But being told that you were "googled" is an interesting experience. Especially when you are on a date.

I actually think google can be a dating barometer. How much do I like this person? Am I curious enough to google them? If they admit they googled me, am I creeped out? Impressed? Do I need to google this question to find the answer?

Interestingly enough, someone admitted to me last night that I had been googled. He said he found some articles I'd written on . (I use helium when I am bored in the summer time, or when I can't think of something to blog about.) Then he says, "That one article you wrote, the one called "Me, myself and men", I was cracking up all day over that one."

My brain began to race. Hmm? What was that article about? Oh crap! Did I write about all my failed relationships? Did I publicly claim Puck as the great love of my life? What insane man theory of mine did I publish on the internet and attach my name to?

This morning I googled myself to find the answer.

My article was about farting.

I wrote about boys. I wrote about farting. And my date read all about it!

You can read all about it, too. You don't even have to google me. Just click here.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

yay for neighbors!

Thanks to the world's best neighbor, Natalie, I was nominated for the Kreativ Blogger award.

According to the rules, I need to list 6 things that make me happy, in no particular order.

1. Waking up in a warm, cozy bed on a cold morning.
2. Watching my students enjoy an activity I planned.
3. Being at Montreat with my pals.
4. Giggling with my sisters.
5. Hearing Kennedy say, "Mama! Mama!" when Wump and I are on the phone.
6. Eating meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green peas with my dad.

So here are the rest of the rules!

List 6 things that make you happy (done!)
Pass the award on to 6 bloggers for Kreativ.
Link to the blogger who gave you the award.
Link to the blogs receiving the award.
Notify the recipients.

Here are my nominations!

More Than Me
Daisy Days
Divinely Chaotic
Making Hay
The Second Coming
The Plug

(of course, I love to read my sister's blog, but I know she is thanking me for not making her blog about this! can't wait to see you!!)

Monday, December 1, 2008

birthday surplus

Super thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes on my birthday. It definitely makes a difference to know that people who love and care about you are thinking of you on your special day! I had a WONDERFUL birthday thanks to my friends, family, and some Latin spice! I promise to post pictures soon, whenever I find the cord that goes to my camera.

This past weekend was Thanksgiving. I'm giving thanks for my parents, who forced me to buy new tires. This tire-buying was incentive for me to clean out my car (ironically, I didn't want the mechanics to see it looking so dirty) for the first time in years. It took over four hours, but I got Macura the Acura back to her glory day standards. As a bonus, the friendly guys at Ocala Tire Service filled my new tires with nitrogen for free! I don't know what that means, but I was psyched to get something free. Yay! Free Nitrogen! Woo!!!

If you are bored reading about my blog, check out what my kids are up to.

The WG