Tuesday, September 29, 2009

daily gripe

Co-workers are annoying.

Today in lunch, one of them was talking about how some teachers make work their life. "You don't ever see WONDERFUL TEACHER on a tombstone," she said. "Mother, yes. Daughter, yes. Wife, yes. Teacher, no."

"Mmhmm," her friend agreed. "I'm working on my tombstone and not my resume. I get paid to do a job, not to go above and beyond."

My question is: what's so wrong with doing both? I don't understand the mentality of only doing what is required. I don't understand how you can come to a job day after day after day and expect children to put in extra effort when you openly admit to never giving an extra ounce yourself. I don't understand the point in doing something if you're not going to do it 100%. Not the minimum - but 100%.

So frustrating.


Monday, September 28, 2009

everything I need to know about life...

I learned from my mom.

  • One day, believe it or not, your sisters will be your best friends.
  • Underwear on your head is a fashion statement.
  • Not letting you eat junk food is how I say I love you.
  • Fear the wooden spoon.
  • There's nothing wrong with a little nudie cazoodie show ... when you're six.
  • It's not a bunny, yaya, foo foo, or cupcake. It's a vagina. Call it your vagina.
  • Don't listen to your father - Tylenol is not a magical cure for anything.
  • Anything boys can do, you can do better.
I love you, Mommy. Wherever you are.


Thursday, September 24, 2009

monthly marathon update

Thus far I've done 12 miles towards my goal of doing one marathon in one month. That's only one mile away from the halfway mark of 13 miles. I've got 12 days left to do it!! Here's hoping I can make it happen!


Sunday, September 20, 2009

no deal

I met someone I like. He happens to be a practicing atheist who doesn't have a car. Seriously - is there anyone out there who doesn't come with a dealbreaker?

Now that I'm single, I'd like to announce the following:

1. If you don't like my dog, you don't like me. Don't pretend to like him and then change your mind after you got in my pants. You don't have to love him, but you better damn well try.
2. I want a husband and kids some day. This does not make me a crazy person. This also does not mean I want you to be that husband.
3. I love my job and I have to take it home at times. I know you may think that teaching isn't very important because I don't make a lot of money, but I care about my students and I will occasionally chose them over you.
4. I make my own money. I own my own home. I don't need you to buy me dinner, but I appreciate it when you do. And let me pay every now and then - it's not an insult to your manhood.
5. I don't discuss it that much, but I am a Christian. My faith is quiet but it is strong. Maybe if you took the time to talk to me, you'd understand why my faith is so important. I wasn't brainwashed. I didn't just believe what my parents told me. Yes, I volunteer at a church camp every summer and no, it's not what you think. If you can't respect that, you can't respect me.

I hope you took notes. I hate repeating myself.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

break up not down

Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

I'm writing to say thank you. No, really. I mean that. I really do want to say thank you.

People always say you learn more about yourself when you're in a relationship. I'm always figuring out new things about myself, either in a relationship or out of one, but this one thing I know to be true: I don't like letting things go. And I'm being relative when I say 'things'. People, ideas, hopes, arguments, lies, promises, places, gifts, underwear...you name it, I'm holding on to it. Ex-boyfriends, that means you, too.

Kind of.

I'm not holding on to you, specifically, but when a break up happens there are just some things you can't take back. And that's why I'm writing you this note of thanks.

Because of you, ex-boyfriends, I'm holding on to a lot of great things. Thanks to you, I gained an understanding of the rules behind football (although I still don't understand pass interference). Thanks to you, I learned to that Playboy actually does have quality writing. Thanks to you, I gained a love of expensive vodka and la lengua espaƱola.

But more importantly, ex-boyfriends, I'm holding on to more than just material things. Thanks to you, Token Ex Who Lied About Everything, I'm never letting go of the knowledge that someone who asks you to sacrifice everything doesn't really love you. I will always appreciate the belief that nothing makes one person better than the other. High-five, Weirdo Ex Who Moved to Korea. I will forever support the belief that someone who won't fight for you isn't worth a fight either. Hats off to you, Ex Who Still Feels the Need to Read This Blog. And, I will always cherish the faith you restored in me that nice guys are still out there. Thank you dearly, My Ex Latin Lover.

Those thoughts might sound bitter, but on the night of my most recent break up, I mean them wholeheartedly. With all sincerity, I want to say thank you. I've been dating since I was fourteen and I've gained so much.

Breakups don't have to be bad. Break up-and-up. Break up, up and away. Break up, never down. Thanks to you guys, I now know that.

Sometimes, never letting go is a good thing.


Monday, September 14, 2009


My heart is bursting with love for Laurie and her new daugther, Hannah. After a long and arduous paperwork process that lasted over two years, Laurie was finally granted her one wish and is bringing home a precious little girl from China! Hannah was delivered right into Laurie's waiting arms this morning (3:30am our time - 3:30pm China time). I love you L McD and can't wait to meet your girl!

You can read their story, too. Have tissues ready.

All my love,

the wg

Thursday, September 10, 2009

hey mr dj

Dear People Who Read My Blog,

I need music suggestions for my monthly marathon playlist. I love cheesy pop music but I'm open to anything. Leave your suggestions in the comments. If you read my blog (or internet stalk me), you can at least suggest a little something. Listening to my reader suggested songs will keep me focused on my goal.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

today i ...

did the first 2 miles.

Things I need:
- decent running shoes
- a new running playlist
- ears that fit my fancy exercise earphones

24.2 to go!


Monday, September 7, 2009

running on empty

Once again, my older and fabulous sister Levana has inspired me. This weekend she ran a half marathon!!! I'm so proud of you Big Little L!

This helped me chose my new challenge. Since I don't exercise much (much meaning ever) I think that's what I'm going to challenge myself to do. So...introducing:

The Marathon Month Challenge

Basically, I'm going to push myself to run 26.2 miles in one month. I know that some people do this in a day, but for a person who can't even spell exercise let alone bring myself to do it on a regular basis, this is a serious commitment. To run (or run/walk/jog) 26.2 miles in 30 days will require me to run .87 miles every day for a month. Meaning, I will have to give up time doing other things (other things meaning watching tv) and make the time to meet the challenge.

At the end of the month, I'm going to reward myself by participating for the Race for the Cure 5k in Jacksonville on October 17th.

So - who's with me?


Saturday, September 5, 2009

a funny thing happened...

There I was, yesterday morning, walking the Puckers before leaving for work. Puck, having assumed the position, was dropping a huge load when suddenly I noticed a fat man in a Honda circling the parking lot.

My paranoia meter was going off full force. I'd never seen this car or this fat man before. Why was he circling? What is he looking for? Who does this m-effer think he is fooling?

We haven't had break-ins for a few years, but after having my car broken into three summers ago, I don't take any chances. I watch enough episodes of Law & Order to know what a serial killer does before he attacks his prey. I wasn't going down without a fight.

I said, "C'mon Brutus!" as loudly as inconspicuously possible and tried to confidently walk away with Puck. Now, if you know the Puckers, you know he is at the state where he just hobbles along behind me on the leash. Actually, his legs are getting worse and he slightly drags his back left leg when he walks. Not immensely scary.

"Yeah - the old fight injury won't stop you, my monster! Heh!" I said, fearing that the potential rapist was watching and trying to size up Puck's attack skills.

I took a longer route and ducked behind some cars to get a glimpse at the fat man, who had now pulled into a parking spot and was undoubtedly watching my every move. As I glanced over the side mirror of my neighbor's Excursion, I noticed Fat Man was writing something on a small notebook!

A killer's notes! He was writing down where I lived and what kind of car I drove and that my dog was old and feeble and could easily be taken out by a murderer who broke into my house looking to BTK me.

Suddenly, I felt a surge of anger. (See my previous post about rage.) Hell no! I wasn't going to let this fat bastard get the best of me!!!!!

I let Puckers back inside and grabbed my keys. I hopped into my car and threw a withering stare in the direction of Sir Fatty McRapist. I drove around the parking lot and pulled up directly behind him. I made a note of his license plate and sat directly behind him for a minute, making sure he knew I was watching. I circled the parking lot two more times to really send home the message that I was not going down without a fight.

Once out of sight, I quickly dialed my condo office and told the property manager all about. I gave her every detail, from what he was wearing, to the color of his dirty rapist beard, to his license plate number and the scratches on the back of his dirty rapist car.

She was quiet for a moment. I waited patiently for her to thank me profusely for my expert detective skills in catching a killer and preventing a senseless murder.

"Well, Lindsay, it seems that you've spotted the undercover detective from JSO who's investigating one of your neighbors. I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone else."



Tuesday, September 1, 2009

damn it, kim

So, I read Kim's comment to my challenge request. Maybe I will take up one of these, too???


the write stuff

Maybe you know, maybe you don't know, but in the confines of "My Documents" lies a novel the WG has slowly, slowly been plugging away at for some time. Some time being...since 2004.

It's not much, just a Young Adult novel I began as a project in my Ad Lit class at UF. I love the story, I love the characters. I think I actually love the setting more than anything. I just don't love how I can't seem to finish it.

So...my September goal is to write 30 more pages. Let's see how it goes.