oh internet, you make me laugh

I think Zoey is bulimic.

Zoey is my cat.

No, I'm not kidding.

Here is a typical scene from my house:

I come home from work. Zoey weaves in an out of my feet and licks my toes. She meows incessantly until I fill up her food bowl. I fill up her bowl and she wolfs it down. Then she walks into the living room and barfs all over the floor. Then the dog eats the cat barf. Really, it's great.

Of course, this causes me to turn - where else - but to my friend, The Internet. Lo and behold, a google search for "feline bulimia" yielded 163 results INCLUDING a YouTube video that gives directions about tapping the cat's head trying to stimulate the temporal lobe to create and energy shift. I almost died when the narrator said that results doubled when they used crystals.

However, upon further investigation, I discover this video is being used to promote the website "Tapping for Cash", which offers to sell you a system to tap into the "financial earnings of the mentally ill, the poor, the gullible and the desperate" and provide an opportunity to "meet up with other gullible fools and swap crystals, healing flowers and overpriced remedial placebos at practice groups countrywide." By scrolling all the way to the bottom, I discover this website is pure fiction.

And just when I thought I found Zoey a cure!