I'd like to lie and say I'm not into material things, but my closet could speak volumes on that subject. Therefore, in the spirit of giving, I'd like to just rid the universe of the following things:
1. People who aspire to be reality tv stars by putting their children in spaceship balloons, crashing parties for Joe Biden photo ops, or giving birth to seven times the normal amount of children. Get a therapist and a life, please.
2. Erectile dysfunction commercials. Old people sex? Ew.
3. Books "written" by "celebrities".
4. People who refer to New York City as "The City". There are other cities, you know.
5. Wife beaters in both shirt and human form.
6. Anyone who "reports" for Fox "News".
7. The need for quotation marks to indicate sarcasm in print. Let's just make a sarcasm font already.
8. Arkansas. In a word? Yawn.
9. The person who poisoned my friend's dog. Can you say 'pure evil'?
10. Sarah Palin.
Don't get me wrong. This is not a "bah humbug" moment. I seriously would love to receive the gift of elimination for any of the above mentioned items. Just an empty space in the much-improved universe. Wrapped up in tinsel. Just for me.