Therapist: Tell me why you're here.
Me: I don't trust people.
Therapist: Mmhmm. And, when you say people, do you mean everyone? Or people, specifically?
Me: Specific people. Well, specifically, all people.
Therapist: Mmhmm. Why is that?
Me: How should I know? Aren't you the one with the degree? Hey, where is your degree by the way? I don't see it on the wall. Are you sure you have a degree? What's up with that? What are you hiding? What aren't you telling me? Why would you lie?
Therapist: Well, you get points for being self-aware.