Inspired...or totally ripped off...from one of my favorite blogs:
Text Messages, Entry One:
- Took P Money to Barking Lot. Soon he be so fresh and so clean.
- I've been waiting at this office for 35 min. Guess how many babies are in my belly?
- 8th grade girls bathroom. Insider tip! Skippers hidin out.
- I just had to put medicine up my butt. What are you doing?
- Take off the camo undies and wave them around so I can see you.
- Cry you a river!
- Just had nightmare involving you and me and too much blue eyeshadow ... on you.
- I'm waiting for my eyebrow wax. Beauty is pain. Hairless pain.
- This demon spawn is trying to kill me.
- I love you Punchy. Go home. Sally will eat that shit up.
- If all else fails, wear tight pants.
- I just knocked up your BFF. What now??
- Yup. I have blue and orange hair.
- Vomit is not my friend.
If you like this post, go read a way better list on my favorite blog.
Monday, February 25, 2008
blood, sweat, and a bucket of clorox tears
A year ago, at this time, I decided enough was enough.
The line in one of my all-time favorite Dashboard songs goes a little something like this: A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises, and I don't believe that I'm getting any better. Any better.
I did something about it. I wanted to get better. I picked myself up off the bathroom floor, literally, and I got help. I made new friends. I tried new things. I processed my emotions. I prayed. I laughed. I sang (rather poorly) but nonetheless I danced and I smiled.
A year ago, at this time, I decided enough was enough.
Will someone please tell me why my bathroom floor suddenly looks so appealing? Mind you, I can't remember the last time I mopped in there, but the linoleum seems to be yelling at me to crawl down and reminisce again. I even bought a hot pink bath mat, but it's not helping.
I keep trying to fight the fight I've been fighting almost all my life. They say, "just be happy" and it makes me want to scream. I don't like living like this, but it's the comfort I've created. Don't you think if I knew how to get out, I would?
A year ago, at this time, I decided enough was enough.
Is it that time again?
I hope so. I really don't feel like mopping.
The line in one of my all-time favorite Dashboard songs goes a little something like this: A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises, and I don't believe that I'm getting any better. Any better.
I did something about it. I wanted to get better. I picked myself up off the bathroom floor, literally, and I got help. I made new friends. I tried new things. I processed my emotions. I prayed. I laughed. I sang (rather poorly) but nonetheless I danced and I smiled.
A year ago, at this time, I decided enough was enough.
Will someone please tell me why my bathroom floor suddenly looks so appealing? Mind you, I can't remember the last time I mopped in there, but the linoleum seems to be yelling at me to crawl down and reminisce again. I even bought a hot pink bath mat, but it's not helping.
I keep trying to fight the fight I've been fighting almost all my life. They say, "just be happy" and it makes me want to scream. I don't like living like this, but it's the comfort I've created. Don't you think if I knew how to get out, I would?
A year ago, at this time, I decided enough was enough.
Is it that time again?
I hope so. I really don't feel like mopping.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
go 'head girl, go 'head get down.
When I run (ok, when I walk) I like to listen to Kanye West. I don't know why. I'm not the world's biggest hip hop fan by any means. But he's just so damn confident and I'm so damn insecure. I like to pretend I have his swagger and his strut. I used to strut. I don't know when I lost my strut.
He's got a hook in this one song that says, "Everything I'm not made me everything I am." I can't stop thinking about it.
I think I want to leave Jacksonville. I'm just thinking about it. But I just feel like I need a change of scenery and a chance to start over. I feel like my beloved home out here in the beaches is becoming what that small town where I grew up became - a town that overwhelms with with its judgment and rejection. A place where I let everything I'm not make me everything I am.
We'll see.
He's got a hook in this one song that says, "Everything I'm not made me everything I am." I can't stop thinking about it.
I think I want to leave Jacksonville. I'm just thinking about it. But I just feel like I need a change of scenery and a chance to start over. I feel like my beloved home out here in the beaches is becoming what that small town where I grew up became - a town that overwhelms with with its judgment and rejection. A place where I let everything I'm not make me everything I am.
We'll see.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
fashion 101
When you apply for National Board Certification, you have to video tape yourself teaching. Today, I'm supposed to be watching my tape and analyzing my methods. I am told to ask myself these questions: Did I capitalize on those "teachable moments"? Did I facilitate or lecture? Are my students highly engaged? How do I ensure fairness and equity? Is my lesson challenging enough?
Want to know the only question running through my mind as I watch the tape?
Why did I wear those shoes?
Want to know the only question running through my mind as I watch the tape?
Why did I wear those shoes?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The February Thaw
Today, on Valentine's Day, let's take a moment to celebrate Random Acts of Love.
I know Valentine's isn't about "randomness". It's about celebrating your love on The Day. I know most people think it's stupid, and the Evil Card Companies have an Evil Scheme to make Even More Money. But last time I checked, the executives at Hallmark weren't out kicking orphans or puppies, so I think we can let them off the hook.
I like to think of Valentine's Day as the day we celebrate our love for each other, and to take a day to appreciate the little random acts of love that keep us going all year long.
So, today I celebrate random acts of love. Let's leave the cynicism in the candy aisle and let our hearts thaw. Let's get inspired by what New Jersians refer to as, "The February Thaw".
Or, at least one Dirty Jersian. Named Steve. (Or Daddy, to those in the know.)
The February Thaw, according to Steve, takes place during a random two or three day period in winter. The snow melts. The ice thaws. The clouds clear and the sun emerges for the first time in weeks. The sky is blue and the air is crisp and the people are happy.
The February Thaw, according to Steve, is a magical time. After weeks and weeks of gray weather, bitter cold, icy winds and relentless snow, New Jersians are treating to a taste of spring. They spend more time outdoors than the usual time is takes to travel from the garage to the car and back again. They smile. They laugh.
And, according to Steve, they make mad, passionate love to their wives and nine months later, bring home the cutest baby they ever did see. Named Lindsay. (Or Little Meggy, to those in the know.)
Here's to random acts of love, and all the wonderful results that follow.
I know Valentine's isn't about "randomness". It's about celebrating your love on The Day. I know most people think it's stupid, and the Evil Card Companies have an Evil Scheme to make Even More Money. But last time I checked, the executives at Hallmark weren't out kicking orphans or puppies, so I think we can let them off the hook.
I like to think of Valentine's Day as the day we celebrate our love for each other, and to take a day to appreciate the little random acts of love that keep us going all year long.
So, today I celebrate random acts of love. Let's leave the cynicism in the candy aisle and let our hearts thaw. Let's get inspired by what New Jersians refer to as, "The February Thaw".
Or, at least one Dirty Jersian. Named Steve. (Or Daddy, to those in the know.)
The February Thaw, according to Steve, takes place during a random two or three day period in winter. The snow melts. The ice thaws. The clouds clear and the sun emerges for the first time in weeks. The sky is blue and the air is crisp and the people are happy.
The February Thaw, according to Steve, is a magical time. After weeks and weeks of gray weather, bitter cold, icy winds and relentless snow, New Jersians are treating to a taste of spring. They spend more time outdoors than the usual time is takes to travel from the garage to the car and back again. They smile. They laugh.
And, according to Steve, they make mad, passionate love to their wives and nine months later, bring home the cutest baby they ever did see. Named Lindsay. (Or Little Meggy, to those in the know.)
Here's to random acts of love, and all the wonderful results that follow.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
being down to earth
is overrated.
Last Saturday, as I lay in bed, feeling gross and icky after an intense two days of battling The Stomach Flu From Hell, I couldn't help but feel my stomach take another flip when I heard the words: "Let's go to the Cape."
The Cape? As in ... Cape Cod? Woo-hoo! My boyfriend is so romantic. And apparently, rich enough to whisk me away for a romantic weekend at The Cape. I'm so lucky! I'm going to puke again, but this time, in happiness.
Then he says, "The Cape. Like, Cape Canaveral."
Cape Canaveral? Woo-hoo! My boyfriend is a science geek who loves museums and outer space. He is not rich enough to whisk me away, but he's sweet enough to drag my sick butt out of bed, let me pick the music on the 2 hour car ride, buy me a ticket to The Kennedy Space Center, and spend the whole day documenting our trip with his digital camera.
Afterwards, we went on a US1 adventure to find the perfect beachside restaurant. The results? Awesum. We found "Breaker's", which boasted the best burgers in New Symnra Beach. Not only did I get to teach Danny how to say fun Floridian words (i.e. "Titusville" and "Symnra") but I sipped on a delish and much needed Long Island Iced Tea. We ate our Mahi sandwiches at a wooden bar, gazing out at the ocean and the stars.
One whole day of not throwing up combined with quality Danny time?
Awesum.
Last Saturday, as I lay in bed, feeling gross and icky after an intense two days of battling The Stomach Flu From Hell, I couldn't help but feel my stomach take another flip when I heard the words: "Let's go to the Cape."
The Cape? As in ... Cape Cod? Woo-hoo! My boyfriend is so romantic. And apparently, rich enough to whisk me away for a romantic weekend at The Cape. I'm so lucky! I'm going to puke again, but this time, in happiness.
Then he says, "The Cape. Like, Cape Canaveral."
Cape Canaveral? Woo-hoo! My boyfriend is a science geek who loves museums and outer space. He is not rich enough to whisk me away, but he's sweet enough to drag my sick butt out of bed, let me pick the music on the 2 hour car ride, buy me a ticket to The Kennedy Space Center, and spend the whole day documenting our trip with his digital camera.
Afterwards, we went on a US1 adventure to find the perfect beachside restaurant. The results? Awesum. We found "Breaker's", which boasted the best burgers in New Symnra Beach. Not only did I get to teach Danny how to say fun Floridian words (i.e. "Titusville" and "Symnra") but I sipped on a delish and much needed Long Island Iced Tea. We ate our Mahi sandwiches at a wooden bar, gazing out at the ocean and the stars.
One whole day of not throwing up combined with quality Danny time?
Awesum.
Friday, February 1, 2008
gastroenteritis...
is the grossest disease I have encountered to date. I am/feel/look/smell like the most disgusting person on the planet.
Please come visit.
Please come visit.
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