Inspired...or totally ripped off...from one of my favorite blogs:
Text Messages, Entry One:
- Took P Money to Barking Lot. Soon he be so fresh and so clean.
- I've been waiting at this office for 35 min. Guess how many babies are in my belly?
- 8th grade girls bathroom. Insider tip! Skippers hidin out.
- I just had to put medicine up my butt. What are you doing?
- Take off the camo undies and wave them around so I can see you.
- Cry you a river!
- Just had nightmare involving you and me and too much blue eyeshadow ... on you.
- I'm waiting for my eyebrow wax. Beauty is pain. Hairless pain.
- This demon spawn is trying to kill me.
- I love you Punchy. Go home. Sally will eat that shit up.
- If all else fails, wear tight pants.
- I just knocked up your BFF. What now??
- Yup. I have blue and orange hair.
- Vomit is not my friend.
If you like this post, go read a way better list on my favorite blog.