break up not down

Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

I'm writing to say thank you. No, really. I mean that. I really do want to say thank you.

People always say you learn more about yourself when you're in a relationship. I'm always figuring out new things about myself, either in a relationship or out of one, but this one thing I know to be true: I don't like letting things go. And I'm being relative when I say 'things'. People, ideas, hopes, arguments, lies, promises, places, gifts, underwear...you name it, I'm holding on to it. Ex-boyfriends, that means you, too.

Kind of.

I'm not holding on to you, specifically, but when a break up happens there are just some things you can't take back. And that's why I'm writing you this note of thanks.

Because of you, ex-boyfriends, I'm holding on to a lot of great things. Thanks to you, I gained an understanding of the rules behind football (although I still don't understand pass interference). Thanks to you, I learned to that Playboy actually does have quality writing. Thanks to you, I gained a love of expensive vodka and la lengua española.

But more importantly, ex-boyfriends, I'm holding on to more than just material things. Thanks to you, Token Ex Who Lied About Everything, I'm never letting go of the knowledge that someone who asks you to sacrifice everything doesn't really love you. I will always appreciate the belief that nothing makes one person better than the other. High-five, Weirdo Ex Who Moved to Korea. I will forever support the belief that someone who won't fight for you isn't worth a fight either. Hats off to you, Ex Who Still Feels the Need to Read This Blog. And, I will always cherish the faith you restored in me that nice guys are still out there. Thank you dearly, My Ex Latin Lover.

Those thoughts might sound bitter, but on the night of my most recent break up, I mean them wholeheartedly. With all sincerity, I want to say thank you. I've been dating since I was fourteen and I've gained so much.

Breakups don't have to be bad. Break up-and-up. Break up, up and away. Break up, never down. Thanks to you guys, I now know that.

Sometimes, never letting go is a good thing.

Love,
wg