Sunday, February 28, 2010

lately

I miss my friend.

You used to always be there. Back in high school, we used to hang out at least twice a week. No matter the craziness, You were always in my corner. You inspired me to always look for ways to give back to others. My love for You was palpable. People knew about us, they talked about us, but You never left.

Throughout college, our relationship grew. You introduced me to that guy - remember him? The one we both thought was "The One"? Remember how he turned his back on both of us? I wanted to be angry with you for all of that, but I just couldn't blame You. You were more than my best friend and living without You seemed impossible.

After that time, I rediscovered our special place in the mountains. Such amazing joy. Such amazing friends. You showed me I had another purpose as an adult outside of my career and I worked tirelessly to make You proud. To live out loud.

Recently, I went back to that special place. But I couldn't feel You. I didn't see You. I don't even know how hard I looked. Where did You go? Why didn't I notice when You left?

Even if life isn't difficult, You're still supposed to be here. This relationship wasn't supposed to be one that only works in the darkest of times. Is it because I didn't ask for You? Did You leave when I began to feel stronger, smarter, and safer on my own?

We used to be so close. Where did our good go?

wg

3 comments:

thetomboyeffect said...

God is still here, and is still speaking. Will call you on a day when I am not home at 12:30 a.m. (I keep getting in late, working on huge Judit Butler project for a gender course).

-JY

The Working Girl said...

Love you. LL

loner chic said...

this piece is really honest i really like it.