The following was a conversation between me and my sister while cruising for guys on eharmony:
Her: This guy's last name is Dillworth. I can't imagine my new last name being Dillworth.
Me: Yeah, pass. Who's next?
Her: Am I attracted to Asians?
Me: I don't know, are you? How do you feel about Jackie Chan?
Her: Next. Ugh, 39? Where are all the guys my age?
Me: Hey, beggers can't be choosers. You better hit that shit.
Her: I can do better. Wait - this guy's name is Jordan. I don't know how I feel about guys named Jordan.
Me: Um, so Dillworth made sense but Jordan? You won't date someone named Jordan?
Her: Well, he's also a Red Sox fan so it'll never work. It says here his passion is the World Champion Red Sox. Doesn't he know the Yankees won the Super Bowl?
Me: Yes, sports matching is obviously a priority for you. Who's next.
Her: Someone named Kelvin. Do I have to call him Kelvin?
Me: You are so dying alone.