You know, the dream where everyone sees you in your underwear?
Tonight I had a similar experience. Only, I was awake.
I was asleep on the couch. Clad in only boyshort undies and my pajama top - an over sized t shirt with a giant pig face on the front that I've had since I was LITERALLY eight years old - I felt a wet doggy nose pressing against my cheek. Alas, the weakened bladder of my elderly canine was at it again. Bleary eyed from sleep, I stumbled into my flip flops and put Puck's leash on to take him out to pee.
"No one will see me," I yawned. "It's the middle of the night."
Actually, it was only about 10:30 p.m. And EVERY SINGLE ONE of my neighbors was in the parking lot watching a fire engine circling the parking lot trying to find the house that called in a kitchen fire.
Puck, still feeling nature's call, bounds over to the bushes and proceeds to pee for a good sixty seconds, completely eliminating any hope of making an unnoticed escape.
So, not only did my neighbors get a good view of my butt cheeks and giant pig-face t shirt, but about six firefighters on Engine 33 did, too.
Tomorrow I am online shopping for adult doggy diapers and never leaving the house again.