Sunday, October 5, 2008

singleville: the update

As I blogged yesterday, I went into last night's events with a "What's-the-worst-that-could-happen" attitude.

That all changed when I pulled up to a house covered in McCain-Palin signs. My brain went into panic overload. Abort! Abort! Abort!

What should I do? I didn't have Anne's number to call and cancel due to a sudden illness (conservatitis) It was too late to do anything but take a deep breath and walk to the front door. Immediately I heard a dog's ferocious bark (could he smell my liberal fear?) and began to sweat. This was going to be a long night.

Thankfully, the very nice McCain supporter who answered the door was not Anne, but rather her next door neighbor who politely informed me that I was at the wrong house.

Hoping that would be my only embarrassing moment of the night, I counted down two houses and found myself in the right place. There were some other women from work their with their husbands, so we made polite conversation for awhile. It was kind of awkward, because the deck could only hold so many people. Eventually, we wandered inside and ate (mmm...seafood).

Her son, R, was really great and tried to make me feel like part of the conversation. He looked a lot like Anne, which I found cute. He asked the requisite questions - where did I like to go out at the beach, do I like teaching, do I like sports - typical guy stuff. He told me bit about himself, where he lives, etc. One of his friends was there and they both seemed pretty interested in the baseball game, so I felt a little out of place. I tried to leave when the others did but Anne insisted I stay and chat with her. R disappeared and we found him as I was on my way out.

The one bad thing is that when we found him, he was smoking in the garage. I noticed this earlier in the night, too. I hate smoking. I've never even tried to smoke a cigarette, and I'm really susceptible to the smoke. I woke up coughing this morning. Gross.

Then, as if knocking on the McSame supporter's door earlier in the evening wasn't embarassing enough, I preceded to shove my gigantic (yet freshly exfoliated) foot inside my mouth.

R: Well, it was really nice to meet you. We'll have to go out for beers sometime, when my parents aren't around.
Me: Yeah, I'd like that. It was nice to meet you, too.
R: Finally. My mom has been saying, "You've got to meet my friend Lindsay" for over a year now.
Me: I know. It's a good thing I like your mom, because all the other ladies at work are always wanting to introduce me to their sons, too.
R: (Silence. Then crickets.)
Me: Soooo, um, I guess I'll get going.
R: Yep. Drive safe.

Not only did I manage to insult him by pointing out that his mom is setting him up, but I also pointed out that I'm the big loser who needs the moms of the world to introduce me to potential suitors.

I also didn't do the whole, "Yeah, you should call me," bit after he said let's go out for drinks, to which he would've said, "I don't have your number" to which I would have replied, "Let me give it to you" instead of "You need your mommy to get you girls."


I have a feeling I am destined for a long, long life in Singleville : )


freedtobe said...

My interpretation is that really you seemed like hot stuff with everyone wanting to hook you up with their sons. In my humble lesbian opinion, it isn't so bad to let the boys of the world know you aren't going to settle and he isn't your only option. already identified faux pas no pass - smoker. Hate to sound cliche, but there are other boy fish out in the sea....

The Working Girl said...

I'm always happy to get thy humble lesbian opinion : )

GatorGirlintheCity said...

Yeah I'm with you--Smoking is a deal breaker!

emilysuze said...

Smoking and McCain supporting are both deal breakers. Although I know it wasn't Anne's house that had the Republican signs...she's still close enough to be tainted by association.

Anyway, doesn't sound like the son was very interesting and we all know how fabulous and awesome you are. Which means you need an equally fabulous and awesome guy to date.