Monday, April 5, 2010

tease

While back in hometown this weekend, I ran into an old friend from high school. I am officially at the age where phrases such as "old friend from high school" are a fitting description. Ugh. Regardless, seeing him was a riot. I think it's pretty hilarious how people remember the same things, yet, we remember them differently. For example:

Me: The first time I ever got drunk was at your house.

Him: Yeah, it was awesome. You were always the good one, always the DD, always taking care of us. Then you started begging me for a drink.

Me: Um, no. You guys picked on me so much that I took one giant schwig of Goldschlager just to shut you up.

Him: Yeah, seeing you drunk was pretty hilarious. But then you just disappeared without saying goodbye.

Me: Um, no. You idiots let me drive home and it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

Him
: Oops.

Fast forward to twenty minutes later in the conversation.

Him: I'm going to have to tell my girlfriend I ran into you. I hope she doesn't get mad.

Me: Why would she get mad? Is she a super jealous person?

Him: No, but considering our past, I should probably tell her.

Me: What past? So we made out once. That was, like, a hundred years ago!

Him: We did more than make out.

Me: No, we didn't.

Him: Yeah, we did.

Me: No. We. Didn't.

Him: Linds, I've seen you naked.

Me: Big deal. I mooned everyone in high school. I had an issue with boundaries.

Him: No, more than that. Don't you remember?

Me: You are making this up. We never slept together.

Him: But we almost did. Don't you remember? Jenni's grandparents' house? The party in the summer?

Me: I remember the party but I don't remember getting naked with you.

Him: We going at it in her grandparents' room. Then I asked you if you really wanted to go through with it. You laughed and told me you were not going to sleep with me in the first place. And I said, "Well, why'd you let me take off all your clothes?" and you rolled your eyes and said, "Oh, my god." Then you saw a big crucifix hanging on the wall and said, "Oh, my GOD!" and ran out.

Me: (Silence.)

Him: So. Do you remember now?

Me: Um, yeah. I had kind-of blocked that out.

Him: So, what do you have to say for yourself?

Me: Oops.

wg

10 comments:

emilysuze said...

Best moment of the day was when I read the part about you being naked and seeing a crucifix and running out of the room and the visual I got from that. Thank you God. :)

Phoenix said...

Ha ha I love your sense of humor and the way you convey it in your writing. Looking forward to reading more :)

Alices Wonderland said...

Ok, so you get Kudo's for actually having the balls to have that conversation with the guy but to actually post it on the blog----I think you're my hero.

Victoria Maria said...

I love reading your blog.
You're so funny and I love your stories, and lessons.

The Working Girl said...

Thanks! I try to find humor in the twists and turns of life. Keep reading!! :)

clew said...

HA! I think I'm in touch with this phenomenon.

Just surfed by today, enjoyed the read. :) See ya around!

BLAZER PROPHET said...

OMG, so YOU were the easy slut in high school. How I loved girls like you back then.

Oh yes, those were the days.

The Working Girl said...

BP - Check the title, dude. Tease, not slut. I never went "all the way". I just let the boys think they had a chance. Actually, I didn't really know that's what I was doing back then, but you live and learn.

Jenni said...

I just panicked at the thought of my grandmother learning how to use blogger and reading this!

The Working Girl said...

Does she have the power to retro-shame us??