When I was a first-year teacher, there was a VP at our school who hated me. Hated me. Seriously - she had it out for me. She was always snippy with me. She chewed me out for things I couldn't control. She would greet everyone in the room except for me.
I used to feel like no matter what I did, it was never good enough. She didn't cut me any slack. She never let me live down a mistake. She came to evaluate me and came with guns blazing.
Think I'm crazy? Paranoid? Ha! She got drunk at our end-of-the-year party in my second year and told me, "I almost fired you last year. You were so disappointing. But now I think you're fabulous."
She then proceeded to order a round of vodka shots and left without paying. I got stuck with the bill. She = Bitch.
People told me it was because she was unhappy or that my principal really liked me. Or maybe she felt threatened? I doubt that. I know I screwed up on occasion. I know I made mistakes. I was 22. I was a brand new teacher. I was disgustingly insecure and inexcusably shy. Not to mention miserable about my life in general. Are you supposed to be another way at age 22? Probably. But I wasn't.
Lately, I feel like I've been a bitch to my intern.
Really, she's a sweet person. She tries so hard. She's going to make a really good teacher. But she let her personal life get in the way of her work. And I haven't let her forget how much that disappointed me.
Yesterday, when she was finishing up some paperwork to graduate and I was teaching, I felt disconnected from my kids and it was so sad. They kept asking when she was coming back. I'm not really a teacher who thrives on the love of her students, but seriously, it hurt my feelings! I guess I never learned to share.
I think my biggest issue is that she and I are the same age. Everyone at my work is shocked to hear me say that. You can see her insecurities from a mile away, and you just don't expect that from someone who is almost thirty. But she is still a student, still learning.
God, I'm the biggest bitch. I couldn't just let things slide with her. She's not a bad teacher. She's still learning and I'm supposed to be teaching. I just need to stick with teaching children. I have no patience for adults. Myself included.
But at least I pay for my own vodka.