Saturday, May 8, 2010

mama drama


This is difficult for me to say.

It's been a long time coming. I know it may not seem natural to some people. I know many will be confused.

There will be those who say, "You? Really? I never saw it!"

But yes.

The truth is ...

I am afraid of babies.

Being the youngest in my family meant I was never around babies. As I got older, I baby-sat, but only for kids who were potty-trained. I just don't know what to do with babies. As an English teacher, I'm all about helping my kids master language so they can be great communicators. But babies can't articulate. And that scares me.

When they cry, I want to cry. Why can't they talk yet? What do I say? Are they hungry? Are they wet? Should I burp this screaming baby? Is he mad at me? Just not that into me? Confused? Angered by the current political climate? Frustrated by the failing economy? WHAT IS WRONG?

People say it will be different when/if I have my own baby. All I know is, there are currently 21 people on my facebook who are either pregnant or had a baby in the last year. My best friend (who is also pregnant) says that these babies and pregnancies have nothing to do with me. She's right. But I can't help feeling like they are forming an army against me.

A tiny, pooping army.


Anonymous said...

I'm scared of them too. They're selfish and they smell. All these people talk about how great babies smell but it's really gross how they smell. And that army....yeah, once they all pop them out they'll start wanting you to hold them, to babysit them, to hang out with them. If you don't, bye bye friendship. It'll be all about baby talk. And they'll expect you to have one so you can join that cult.

The Working Girl said...

Now, don't get me wrong, I think they're cute. I am just afraid of breaking them. People expect women to know what to do with babies, but I'm pretty clueless! Luckily, none of my friends have asked me to babysit - I think they are smart not to leave little babies with me!!

emilysuze said...

I still feel the same way you do and I've finally had one of my own. Hopefully Baby P survives being my child and grows up to be relatively normal. To be honest, it was way easier when he was a newborn and just needed food, cuddle time, and a clean diaper. Now I have to fight his weird food issues, try to teach him to not throw things, and worry about the fact that he's not at the same developmental stage as other babies his age. Oi.

And thank goodness for our friend who babysits because she's taught him how to say, "yuuuummmm." Whenever he says that, I know it's time to fuel the baby belly. :)

Anonymous said...

All I know is you hold them like a football. That's what I was told. So I suppose you tuck them under your arm, then spike them in the endzone.

As for your question on my blog...yes, they have always been inverted.

Chaos said...

If people around you have babies, don't take it personally. Your best friend is right :)

I think it is perfectly natural to feel nervous around babies. After all.... they don't come with user-manuals! (Would be nice if they did.)

If you have your own baby some day, things will work themselves out. If you don't plan to have any
babies then you won't need to worry about dealing with any anyway.

Either way, you'll be fine. So don't stress about it - just let it go :)

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The Working Girl said...

My best friend is right about most things! I was just overwhelmed when I saw a multitude of status updates on facebook read "I'm pregnant!" all in one week.

Incidentally, there is a new documentary out about ... babies! I'll have to go see it as a form of "shock" therapy!

wiki-san said...

what if you ask one of your friends to observe for a day what it's like to have a baby? maybe that would help?

Catherine S said...

I came across your blog and could not agree with you more! I also read the blog you left before this one and I GET THE WORST CRAMPS TOO! This is so funny because I just started blogging and that was one of my first posts, about hating my uterus. I am following you now! Creepy? lol I can't wait to read more.

Rockabilly Hippie said...

You know I recently had baby fever, then I spent a couple hours with my friend's baby... that killed it. Other people's kids are like the ultimate birth control :-) Not that babies aren't cute, cause they are... from far away where I can't smell their diaper. Thanks for making me laugh today, I needed it.