This is difficult for me to say.
It's been a long time coming. I know it may not seem natural to some people. I know many will be confused.
There will be those who say, "You? Really? I never saw it!"
The truth is ...
I am afraid of babies.
Being the youngest in my family meant I was never around babies. As I got older, I baby-sat, but only for kids who were potty-trained. I just don't know what to do with babies. As an English teacher, I'm all about helping my kids master language so they can be great communicators. But babies can't articulate. And that scares me.
When they cry, I want to cry. Why can't they talk yet? What do I say? Are they hungry? Are they wet? Should I burp this screaming baby? Is he mad at me? Just not that into me? Confused? Angered by the current political climate? Frustrated by the failing economy? WHAT IS WRONG?
People say it will be different when/if I have my own baby. All I know is, there are currently 21 people on my facebook who are either pregnant or had a baby in the last year. My best friend (who is also pregnant) says that these babies and pregnancies have nothing to do with me. She's right. But I can't help feeling like they are forming an army against me.
A tiny, pooping army.