I live in two worlds.
To my co-workers, I'm very much a goody-goody. I work hard at my job, I get a lot of praise from my boss, and I love my students. I'm not the one vomiting on people's bedroom comforters; I'm not the one gettin' nekked in the hot tub. I don't smoke pot and I don't drink to get drunk. I don't stand in judgement of them (well, ok, the vomit was just plain nasty) but I've just never been able to let loose in those ways.
To the people at Montreat, I feel so opposite. Tonight over ice cream, I was flabbergasted to learn I was the only woman at the table who wore thong underwear. I've been sporting thongs since I was fifteen. My best friend told me to wear them to bed for a month and I'd get used to the feeling of string up your crack. (Please note: I did wear a clean thong each night.) But these women don't wear them at all! Then one of their husbands jumped in and said they were unattractive anyway. Say what?
If I told them men at work what kind of underwear I had on, they'd be drooling. Literally, they'd drool on my desk and then make a pass at me.
Two big, confusing worlds. I guess I just have to take solace in the fact that I am who I am for a reason. For so long, I cared about fitting in. I cared more about having people like me than I did about liking myself. I don't care about fitting in anymore. But that doesn't make co-existing any easier.