Tuesday, July 6, 2010

when therapy goes deeply, horribly wrong

Therapist: Well, I think instead of scheduling your next appointment, we should just wait and see how this month goes.

Me: What are you saying?

Therapist: I think you've made significant progress. You've come to some very poignant understandings during our time together. And, frankly, we just spent twenty minutes discussing the weather.

Me: So, you don't want to see me anymore?

Therapist: No, that's not it. I just don't know if I see a reason for our meetings to continue on a weekly basis.

Me: Listen, I've heard this line before. The old "It's not you, it's me" routine. Well, no shit. It is me. I'm the one who made the first appointment. I'm a mess. Don't you see? I still need you.

Therapist: Actually, I don't think you do.

Me: Don't you tell me who I am or what I need!

Therapist: This is not about needing. This is not about personal identity. I am trying to tell you that you came to me with certain goals and I believe you have achieved them.

Me: Fine. (Huff.)

Therapist: You look upset.

Me: I am upset! I really thought we had a good thing going!!!

Therapist: We do! We can still have sessions occasionally.

Me: Yeah, when you're not too busy with a new client. I came here for help reconciling ending relationship and here you are putting an end to us!

Therapist: Maybe we do need to keep seeing each other. Is next Thursday good for you?

Me: Well, if you insist.



Anonymous said...

lol. Love it!

MeredithDuck said...

Is it bad if I think this is hilarious?

emilysuze said...

I love your therapy sessions. :) Perhaps you should have a summer fling to provide fodder for future sessions?

Amie said...

brilliant. :-)

The Working Girl said...

LOL, yes Em, sometimes I find myself in certain situations and think, "Well, if this ends up crappy, at least it will result in good blog fodder and therapy topics."

-= Marlette =- said...

I need to find a therapist like yours ... :)