wahhh

Ok...I'm angry because I've tried to post twice, and both times I've hit "publish", I've lost the internet connection. So I will try to get this out as fast as possible.

I'm angry at myself for mismanaging my money three weeks ago when I went out of town. Now I have about, oh let's see, -$2 in my bank account, and even though I get paid tomorrow, it makes no difference. I have to use most of it to pay bills and anything left over goes to the overdraft in my account. I have NEVER been this bad with my money - what's happening to me? I'm even afraid to login to my internet banking because I know what's waiting for me on the screen.

I feel like a hypocrit in some aspects, because I just chewed out a family member of mine for mismanaging money, but at least I can make up for it with this paycheck. It just means more living on a tight budget. I'm getting better. I ate 90% of my meals at home this week, and I haven't bought clothes...or anything "extra"...since May 1st. Just groceries, gas, and a round of drinks when I was out last weekend.

The other thing is that my income tax return came back. I was planning on using $200 to buy a dress that I need for a wedding (I'm a bridesmaid) and putting the rest toward my debt. Part of me feels like I should put a little bit away in savings for "just incase" money, maybe even just $100. Is that wise, or should I just write the entire check to the credit card company?

I feel like crying, just a little bit, not much. Even though I've been very cautious about spending this month, I'm paying for what I did last month. And it makes me so depressed that I want to go buy some shoes!!!!

Also, I have to go home this weekend for a wedding, and gas is SO expensive, not to mention that I haven't had the oil changed in my car since Christmas. The only redeeming thing about going home is that my parents will feed me all weekend. And the wedding will have an open bar.

What's a working girl to do???? Will I ever see the end of my paycheck to paycheck days???

Until payday, which is technically tomorrow, but feels like it is years away!!
WG